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Coming Soon to a Fire Near You!
Hoooooly heck. I tried to log in to livejournal and got the error message, "This journal has been deleted and purged." My heart almost stopped. Time to post so the server doesn't think it's dead and inactive, and find a way to download and back up all the content.
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You know, while everyone else was busy arguing about whether they should "teach the controversy" in science classrooms, my English class was peacefully reading "Inherit the Wind."

THAT is how it's f---ng done.

P.S. Hey! I just remembered I have my own place to post my opinions!
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This is to those of you who have noticed that Wikipedia has chosen to black out its English version worldwide for 24 hours in order to protest legislation (SOPA and PIPA) that would restrict the freedom of the internet. More specifically, this is to those of you who have discovered that Wikipedia has become a vital part of your brain, without which you cannot function for more than 2 hours at a time.

Fortunately, the custodians of Wikipedia seem to have forgotten that "Simple" is a dialect of English. So, without further ado, I return functionality to your mind: http://simple.wikipedia.org
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Calvin: "Know what I pray for?"

Hobbes: "What?"

Calvin: "The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference."

-- Calvin and Hobbes

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I love that I can root around the floor next to my bed and find food.
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Actually, I was 500 miles away, but I still have my story to tell.

At the time the earthquake hit, I had just gotten into my car in the parking lot, and I thought a crazy person was standing outside and shaking it. Then I thought I was going crazy. Then I thought it might be the wind. Then I thought the car might shake from a malfunction though it was turned off. Then I thought a choking person was shaking the car. Then I thought I was going crazy again. It did not occcur to me until I saw the news three hours later that it might be an earthquake. This happened a few minutes after the 5.9 in Virginia.

Kudos to the seismologist they interviewed live on CBS, who managed to slip out a good, clear "there's a fault line just north of New York City."
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I just realized that xkcd makes a LOT of comics that he couldn't get away with if his characters looked more realistic.

Stick Figure Sex (Safe For Work!)Collapse )

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I need to stop dating men out of pity.

I need higher standards than "there's nothing wrong with him."
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Omnipresent access to Wikipedia was the main reason I got the Kindle 3G.
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He has to talk fast.


Kazran: Poor begging people. Off home and pray for a miracle.

Doctor: Ugh! Oof! Uuoogh! Ahh. Yes. Blimey. Sorry! Christmas Eve on a rooftop, saw a chimney, my whole brain just went, "What the hell!" Don't worry, fat fellow will be doing the rounds later. I'm just scoping out the general… chimneyness. Yes! Nice size. Good traction. Big tick.

Father: "Fat fellow?"

Doctor: Father Christmas! Santa Clause. Or, as I've always known him, Jeff.

Son: There's no such person as Father Christmas.

Doctor: Ohhh yeah? Me and Father Christmas, Frank Sinatra's hunting lodge, 1952. See him in the back with the blonde? Albert Einstein, the three of us together. Vroom! Watch out. Okay? Keep the faith. Stay off the Naughty List. Ooh! Now what's this, then? I love this. A big, flashy lighty thing, that's what brought me here. Big, flashy lighty things have got me written all over them. Well actually, give me time and a crayon. Now! This big flashy lighty thing is connected to the spire on your dome, yeah? And it controls the sky. Well, technically it controls the clouds, which TECHNICALLY aren't clouds at all. Well, they're clouds of tiny particles of ice. Ice clouds! Love that. Who's she?

Kazran: Nobody important.

Doctor: "Nobody important?" Blimey, that's amazing. Do you know, in 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before.

Wrap it all up with a quote from later in the episode, and we're done!

"Sorry about the picture quality, had to recover the data using quantum enfolding and a paperclip."


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