Here are the benefits YOU get from adding ME as a friend:
-My endless love and friendship That's right, folks, I'm desperate for attention and flattery will get you EVERYWHERE! Plus, if you add me, I WILL ADD YOU!!! And I read my Friends posts, AND reply... so if you need a friend, just add me and I'll add you!
-Fascinating Posts by a Soon-to-be-Infamous Psychopath Peek into the life of a sociopathic pyromaniac! Analyze the convoluted thinking of a psychopath! Listen to the daily happenings of a girl who will one day rise to the same elite ranks as the Son of Sam, the Donner Party, and Osama Bin Laden! Someday you will be watching the news and suddenly say, HEY! *I* know that person who's threatening to throw a bomb off the roof!
-Illustrated with Colorful Pictures and Photographs! I have a camera and my own server space, so be on the lookout for actual images of my life! This feature is provided FREE at NO EXTRA CHARGE TO YOU!!!!!
-Well-written posts using the proper conventions of English language! You'll find no mis-spelled, unpunctuated, gramatically AWFUL posts here! I capitalize my "I"s and the first letter of each sentence, and write each post as well as an author writes a book! This makes my journal a welcome haven for all you jaded grammar nazis out there!!
-Confuse your friends! Nobody will understand what the fuck you're talking about when you start babbling about reading LJ's posts on LJ! They'll think you're CRAZAY!
-**NEW FEATURE**!!! Daily "Of the Day" postings! That's right, every day a different post will appear on your friends list containing Quote of the Day, Word of the Day, Japanese Sentence of the Day, and as a special treat on exceptionally lucid days, LJ's Stupid Thought of the Day!!! HERE"S A SAMPLE OF WHAT *YOU* COULD BE GETTING ***EVERY DAY***: Quote of the Day: "Oh, you bleeding cracks." -Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Word of the Day: quietly
Japanese Sentence of the Day: Kodomo wa, oishii biiru o nomimasu. The child drinks the delicious beer.
LJ's Stupid Thought of the Day; It makes sense that green cards are green, since aliens are green.
So don't delay! Subscribe TODAY!!! Only $19.99 a month, and the first month is absolutely FREE! That's right, folks! Try LJ's LJ risk-free for a whole month! If you aren't satisfied, I'll tongue-wash your baby!